


No Place I'd Rather Be - Female Reader x junkie!Lapis

by Very_Impractical_Girl



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Comfort Sex, Depression, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heroin, Numbing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Track Marks, Victim Blaming, junkie, kissing scars, personality change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:56:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6767920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Impractical_Girl/pseuds/Very_Impractical_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were always worried about her. Lapis was different. You've never met her before all this trauma, but she was changing. Not getting better. But no matter what she does, you'll love her forever and stand up for her when she can't.<br/>A Lapis x Reader, with a darker/sadder twist, but with cute love-making as well as a happy-ish ending.<br/><i> (Triggers for drug use, self harm, and victim blaming.) </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	No Place I'd Rather Be - Female Reader x junkie!Lapis

**Author's Note:**

> Pearl's kind of an ass in this. I don't like her much so that's why I choose her, lol. You probably shouldn't read if you have triggers.  
> ____ are for your name.

Staring up at the evening sky, you zipped up your jacket and decided to head back home. Nothing new was at the Temple, it was the same old carved rock as usual. Lapis was _"staying in the spare room"_ at your house, for the time being. Poor Steven desperately wanted her to join the Crystal Gems, but Lapis was still very unsure about the idea. And...there was another reason.

You smiled to yourself as you walked away from the front, taking pride in how long you've hidden the fact that you and Lapis were dating. They had NO clue at all, which was funny to both you and her. You lost your smile though, as you reflected on your other secret, the one which was why Lapis wasn't walking with you today...

Lapis had started using Heroin about 2 weeks ago, maybe a little more. You came home one day and just _found her..._ The ocean gem seemed to be annoyed with how concerned and upset you were. "I just heard the word on TV. Looked it up. Wanted to try it." When you tried to explain the dangers of the drug she wasn't fazed. "I'm a gem. It might be different for me. Seriously, I might not even get addicted." 

She was wrong on that part. But she was right on the other end. The drug affected her _a little_ differently than how it would a human. For one thing, her body didn't build up tolorence to it, and thank God for that. Just 1 injection was all she needed. And, she could snap awake pretty well with a physical shock; like ice water splashed on her. Despite this, she was clearly addicted. She originally just took a hit in the morning and then another to put her out in bed, but now she was taking it during the day... You felt your heart sink and wished she were here with you...

###  Earlier 

"Lapis please!" You shouted in slight anger, even though this wasn't her fault.  
"Why won't you tell me what's wrong???" You were sitting next to her on the side of your bed, not wanting to watch. She held a shot in her hand as she searched for her crop-top ribbon, something she had stopped wearing ever since she started liking human music and now wore band T-shirts as a result. 

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong, I just wanna shoot up-" she choked through her tears. She was a terrible liar. You reached for the syringe instinctively, even though you knew it would calm her down more than you could. She smacked your hand away and you looked at her stunned.  
"Leave me alone!" she yelled at you harshly, and you felt like your heart shattered.

Regardless, you threw both of your arms around her neck and ended up sobbing into her shoulder. She grabbed your forearm with one hand not saying anything.  
"Tell me what's wrong beautiful angel" You whispered softly. She sobbed louder and wiggled out of your grasp, spotting her ribbon on the floor. She grabbed it and paused before trying to explain.

"I-I can't r-right now-" she said through slight gasps.

"Lapis just put it down-"

"STOP OK? IM THERE AGAIN, SHES BEATING ME-"

You noticed she was now clutching her chest and panicking. She was clearly back on the hand ship, in her mind at least. You stuttered a almost silent "Ok", you couldn't stand to see her like this. She must have heard you because she starting tying off her arm with her ribbon. You didn't want to look, but you watched as she inserted the needle above a track mark. Her hands were shaking, and she must have missed; because you saw her do it twice. Her breathing wasn't right but she able to breath out as she pushed the fluid into herself. 

" Take a fucking picture, why don't you?" 

You were taken aback at hearing her say this to you and widened your eyes. She was tossing her head back now and sighing, as the pained look on her face slowly turned to euphoria, then turning and throwing herself on the bed, taking the needle out at the last second. You heard one last mumble come from her. 

"Get out of here."

\---

You sigh as you replayed the scene in your mind. You don't know what to do to help her. You don't support drugs at all, but what are you supposed to do really...asking her seemed fucked up, she felt release from her pain by taking it and you'd rather have her have something. She refuses therapy because if she went she would have to explain what happened to her on the ship and inside Malachite. She really did not want to relive those events, and honestly you don't blame her. Why put her through hell again?

You realized were closer to town now and to your surprise you heard Steven calling your name. You turned and saw that he was having a picnic with Pearl and...wait, Ruby? You decided to walk over and say hi, you've never met either side of Garnet before.  
"Hi Steven. Hi Pearl. And you have to be Ruby." You say as cheerfully as you can, looking down at the short gem. She nods. "Yup, that's me." she says smugly, crossing her arms. You glance around confused.  
"So...uhh, where's Garnet?" you say, hoping that wasn't a rude question. Pearl perks up. "Oh! Garnet...well nothing happened with Garnet at all. Steven just missed the two, so she's just apart for the time being." You nod as you look at the croissants on the blanket, even though you ate an hour or two ago. Steven suddenly pokes you.  
"Wanna play keep-away with us?" he asks happily. You suddenly notice Ruby behind him, holding a large ball with a competitive smirk. You almost chuckle.  
"Aw, i'm sorry pal, but I should get home and check on Lapis-" You freeze as you realize what you just said. Steven frowns confused.  
"I-I mean Lapis is going to come visit me today. She said she feels a little sick so I'm uh, making her soup." You lie, but Steven buys it immediately. Steven smiles and is about to reply but  
"Huh. Is she sick?" Pearl spoke up suddenly. She had an annoyed look on her face which ticked you off a bit. "Yes, why?" You respond flatly. She stood up.  
"Well I ran into her this morning. She overreacted when I asked how she was. A lot actually." You felt your stomach drop. What had happened?

"She started blubbering about Malachite and how...unfair it was that she was fused into her. I don't understand her. If she didn't want to fuse with Jasper then she just shouldn't have." You felt like your mind snapped. Steven and Ruby looked at her, indicating that they were confused by Pearl's statement but you instantly knew she was completely serious.  
"You...You told...her...this..?" you struggled to get the words out.  
"Of course" Pearl responded casually. "I mean, she didn't fight back or anything, she just went with it. Anyways, she ran off crying. I think that gem needs to get a physiological evaluation ha ha..."  
She barely laughed though. Steven didn't understand what was being said you don't think, but Ruby looked enraged, her mouth frozen open in shock, but her eyes shooting a thousand daggers. You tried to take satisfaction in the fact the Garnet, the most perfect fusion, would probably be beating her ass later, but you were too angry.  
Poor Steven who wanted to stop the rising fight tried to change the subject. "U-Um, how is Lapis? I haven't seen her in a long ti-"

You stepped forwards and shoved Pearl despite Steven being right there. "Oh, so she just went with it huh???" Pearl didn't fall, but she stumbled. Steven backed away by Ruby but Ruby had her hands clenched into fists as well. Pearl looked stunned at your sudden outburst.  
"What? What???" she asked, looking from you to Ruby. You couldn't believe she was blaming Lapis for the fusion, and that she wasn't even aware of it.  
"How DARE you say that MY GIRLFRIEND willingly fused into THAT THING!" You shouted, and all three of them looked at you in shock, since you just revealed your long time secret.  
"G-Girlfr-"  
"Hey Steven, you wanna know how Lapis has been??" You began, knowing that this was a simply terrible thing to do. "This is how she's been!!!" You reached into your purse and pulled out a syringe filled with heroin, which you had been keeping in there because you didn't know if Lapis was ever going to have withdrawal while you both were out. You threw it at Pearl, close to her feet, so it didn't hit her, but so she saw it clearly. She looked at it in shock and Ruby actually got tears in her eyes from seeing it.  
"Have FUN explaining that to him!" You shouted since Steven was clearly confused. You let out a sob, and felt tears pour down your face as you rushed off, knowing that you probably traumatized Steven.

Now you knew why Lapis was so distraught this afternoon.

\---  
You had actually _ran_ to your house as quickly as you could. Slightly rubbing your heavy eyes, you realized mid-thought, that you really shouldn't barge through the door in a rush. You knew sudden loud noises easily frightened Lapis... So you opened the door slowly and looked around inside. 

"Lapis? I'm home sweetie..." No response. You felt ill already. Where was she...? Did she overdose?-if such a thing was even possible for a gem?? "Lapis???" You shouted before running to your kitchen and then down the hall into your bedroom. You opened the door, not knowing what you were doing, and were about to collapse on your bed but you had to stop mid running.

"Hey baby..." You had to shake your head and look again. There, lying on your bed, was your adorable blue girlfriend. She was wearing a long black T-shirt which was pulled up a bit to her stomach allowing you to see her white panties. Her hair still had the bedhead look from this morning. Her pupils were dilated as well, giving her an overall wild look. 

"Mm, I'm glad you're home...come here..." She was slurring her words a bit, so you assumed she was high... Nevertheless, you climbed into bed beside her, giving her a kiss. She was so damn cute, and you were...maybe a _little_ turned on. You still couldn't believe she was just lying there like that for you.. "I missed you..." She mumbled into your neck, putting her arm underneath you.

You attacked her lips again, slightly giving them a nibble before wrapping your arms around her and and nuzzling into her short blue locks of hair. "I missed you too. Very much." You wanted to give her cute ass a little smack since your hand was moving downwards, but you weren't sure if she was fully aware... So you kissed her face again instead. "Are you...er, out?" You mumbled. She placed her other hand up by your ribs and turned her head to make eye contact with you. "Mmmm I was. I'm coming back now." She whispered to you. You could tell she was aware of what was going on by the way she looked at you and smiled. 

You kissed her once more, while rubbing her waist, before slapping the swell of her ass gently. She let out a muffled squeal and held your face while softly giggling. "Hahah, what's got you cute and horny?" You kind of stopped.  
"You were-" the sentence out of your mouth was stopped short when you realized. You felt like an idiot. It didn't occur to you at all that Lapis was just passed out on your bed and half dressed only because she was likely hot earlier in the afternoon. You started to mumble an apology and was about to turn away until she pulled you closer for a deeper kiss.

Sighing happily you collided your tounge into hers. You felt the inside of your lower lips heaten with anticipation. It's been a while...if 8 or 9 days qualifies... You tenderly moved her hands up under her shirt and fondled her little perky breasts, pinching a nipple occasionally. "Ohhh..." She breathed silently when she broke the kiss, making your whole womanhood quake softy. She sounds fucking perfect, and you can't wait for this.

You blushed in stunned silence as she suddenly unbuttoned and unzipped your jeans before slightly tugging them down. She looked at you, blushing that beautifully different purple. "Heehee, get naked," she laughed, giving you a push. You suddenly felt really shy about your body, even though it was dark in here... When you got up, you went to shut the door before stripping down. Lapis leans up to watch you and smiles, as you blush madly.  
"Hey, you look good..." She tells you, sounding tired, but the blush on her face indicates that she is in the mood for this. 

You climbed back into bed and were going to cover the both of you but Lapis prevents you lying down. Instead, she pushes you to the headboard, on the pillow, so that your bare ass and puss is sitting on it, before spreading your legs. You stare in shock and suddenly blurt out "Uh, i'm on the pillow-"  
"We'll just flip it over..." she mumbles before lowering her head. You make a mental note to watch that she does so, and to wash the pillowcase tomorrow. This train of thought was interrupted by a lick up your vulva. You didn't make any sound for some reason and just looked down at Lapis, who looked back up at you, her tongue still hanging out. You exhale from the slight tingle, singling her to go further.

"Hh...ahhh..." The quiet sigh escapes your throat as she repeats the same motion several times, speeding up with each stroke. You gently place your hand to the side of her head, underneath her wild short blue locks. You let out a louder moan as she focus uptop, tracing your swollen nub with the tip of her tongue. She slowly kisses it, sending shivers up your spine, as she explores deeper.  
"Annng, Lapis..." you sigh as she lowers her mouth, sucking your folds along the way. Warmth spreads throughout your entire crotch as she lets go for a breath, before resuming. She finds your entrance, and runs her tongue across it, teasing you. You moan suddenly as she slides her tip into you gently wiggling it.  
"Ohh..." You opened your eyes and looked down, since that moan didn't come from you. Lapis has her arms up around your legs, holding onto your thighs. You feel heat from her breath as she pants on your area. Before you can ask if she's okay, she pushes her face back in, and you feel her tongue slide into your lips.

"Ohh, yes..." You exhale, feeling her enter slowly. "Lapis..." Tracing your hand to the top of her head, you grip her hair as you feel her slide slightly back out, before returning completely into your heat. You feel the pleasure building up inside you already, as she drew her tongue up against your upper wall. She was probably trying to find your sweet spot, but you really didn't care if she didn't. You sigh once more, caressing her soft blue hair.  
"A-Ahhh, oh fuck-" You hear yourself yell. Lapis seems to moan, but it's more of a hum in the back of her throat, which is causing a very slight vibration. You gasp and ending up gripping her hair with both hands, as she pushes her tongue quickly and deeply, getting faster each second. She continues the hum in her throat and you can feel yourself about to burst.  
"F-Fuck! Lapis!" You jut out, and unintentionally pull her head closer to your crotch. "Stop, i'm gonna cum!"  
"Guuuhhhh-d" Lapis shoots back muffled, and pushes into you hard on the D sound, which she also put emphasis on. You gasp, and grip her hair as you feel that mini explosion inside of your love-hole, and then the strong and amazing rush that shoots up throughout your entire body. She continues pushing inside you, but slows down, before finally stopping and pulling back.  
"Mmmm...yes. Good." she murmurs, rubbing your thighs and glancing up at you as you come back down to Earth. You glare at her, playfully, and get off the pillow, making sure to flip it over.

You lay down next to her and snuggle under the blankets, even though you were quite warm now. "Mmmm, that made me so ready..." she sighed and you hoped you knew what was coming next. She appeared to pull down her panties just a tad and you hide your wide smile with the blanket as the frail gem does that adorable thing; where she licks her fingers before caressing her clit with them. "Ahh..." She leans her head back slowly along with her moan, sounding so damn hot as she does so. You put your arm around her as she licks her other hand to repeat it. You rest your head into her shoulder, hugging her gently. "Hhh-Ahhhhh, yes"

You smooched the side of her face, feeling the heat from her blush and her chest rising. She seemed to pause after a bit so you took the opportunity to reach down and caress her yourself. She seemed to yelp, but you knew it was just from surprise. You reached up away from her folds to her pubic area, just feeling her fluffy blue bush. You nuzzled her neck and whispered "Fuzzy" which made her turn her head in embarrassment. "Mmmm" The ocean gem turns her head back as you find her sensitive and engorged clit, pressing it gently. You continue very slightly speeding up and applying different amounts of pressure, while occasionally rubbing a bit lower. "Ohh, that feels SO good-" Lapis mumbles lifting her head up and slightly tightening her features. "Please, ____! Right there!" You blush madly as you glance at her face again; her eyes are rolling back and she's barely keeping her head up, whimpering for you to rub her more. "Oh my God...____...." You see her grip the bedsheets as you slide two fingers into her throbbing cunt. She's weak and shaking beneath your digits as you pump them in and out ridiculously slowly; you want to drag this out as long as you can. She lets out a soft whimper and you wrap your other arm, the one closer to her, around her shoulders. "Mmmm, that feel nice baby?" You say to her as you speed up. She can't reply, she just nods quickly, her eyes still shut. "I love you so so much" you whisper and kissed her cheek softly. Lapis lets out multiple loud cries as you pump roughly, her fluid dripping out, and you feel her walls suddenly grip around your fingers. "_____!" She moans your name loudly before covering her mouth, riding out the rest of her orgasm and still bucking against your fingers. You both lied there for several minutes afterwards as she cooled down. Then you seemed to both look at each other at the exact same time. "Mmm, you want one more?" You smiled, as the blue gem nodded. Lapis sighed before your climbed on top of her trying to press into her, in a somewhat comfortable position. She giggled again, as you fumbled, but both of you gasped as you slightly bumped clits. You slightly fell flat on top of her before you remembered something you read.  
" Apparently..." You started slowly, "Girls can actually do most male/female sex positions?" You said this with a bit of confusion since you didn't see how it was possible.

Lapis seemed very interested and leaned up, making you get off of her. "Hmm, they probably can..." She said softy with a grin. You knew Lapis didn't enjoy scisssoring, so of course she'd be eager to try... "Yeah, but-" you began, but stopped when Lapis grabbed your sides and pulled you to your hands and knees, before dropping her panties.  
"...Lapis...?" you asked slowly, confused.  
"Shhh" she hissed and seemed to get on her knees as well. What was she...

"Oh!" You whispered, though it was sudden. "Ahhnng..." Lapis murmured in reply as you felt rubbing on your slit. Surprised, you stayed in place, your head still down on the sheets. You felt the frail gem grab your rear and push her clit against your entrance opening several times. "U-Uhng! U-Uhhh...that's..." your girlfriend breathed heavily. You let out an auidable groan as well. Lapis was never dominant either so you were getting to do something very different together. "_____! Ahh, yes!" she cried out while speeding up her hips. You grabbed onto the sheets beneath you, shaking softy from her rubbing. "Mmmff...Lapis!" You choked out quietly. You keept your head down on the sheet, but rolled your eyes back. Her clit felt great, even though it wasn't the same for you, but since it was pleasuring your girl you didn't think not once of stopping her.  
"Mmmm, your a great dom Lappy..." You panted. You felt her slightly pause, so you knew she was embarrassed by the remark.  
"Um," she suddenly said, but her tone told you she liked the compliment. She suddenly spread your legs open a bit more before planting herself back, more roughly this time. "Ohhhh thats really good..." You whispered as she hit more than just your entrance, sending warmth swirling inside your whole area. 

"O-Ohh! Ohhh, ____!" You were stunned silent at feeling her smack one side of your ass, making it jiggle. She seemed to push her clit even rougher against you as a result. Beet red, you burried your face into the blankets, despite knowing that she couldn't see you in the first place.  
"Lapis!" You shouted, almost angrily but you held back your tone as she smacked your ass again.  
"_____!!" the blue gem gasped, giving you two more quick slaps, and then pulling you against her, bucking into you quickly and eagerly.  
"F-Fuck! ______!!! Y-Yes!!" You slightly turned your head but let out a mellow sigh. Lapis sounded so cute; you loved hearing her gasp and moan in pleasure. 

You felt her hands gripping your thighs, and her breaths coming out in quick gasps as she pushed; you knew she was really close, and you smiled despite not being close yourself. You reach an arm back to place your hand on hers and are shocked at how much she's sweating. She was whimpering and a mess once again. It wasn't long now. You could just feel her thighs tensing up-

"O-Ohhh-hh, ____..." She choked out, almost sounding like she was sobbing. She knelt over you and hugged your chest as she came strongly, her whole body shaking. You grabbed one of her arms that were around you and soothed her with a gentle rub.  
"Mmm, is my Lappy happy now?" you smiled. She huffed, probably in annoyance at that nickname, but rubbed your stomach and boobs before collapsing sideways and onto her back. You just lied down in the same spot as she threw her panties off the bed.  
"I liked that-" she said hoarsely and you wanted to go and get her some water, but she wrapped an arm around you.  
"Uhhng...I smell now..." she complained, sounding a bit better so you kissed her.  
You reached over and grabbed her other arm, feeling the track marks in the center, and remembering why you had rushed home so quickly. She seemed to look down and moved it closer to you.  
"Mmm, these are getting pretty ugly, I should start wearing jackets." You rested your head against her shoulder, not mentioning that it was the start of Summer. You traced her marks for a while, before reaching down and kissing them. She sounded like she wanted to say something, but she was exhausted.  
"Nothing's your fault baby girl..." you say to her, not wanting to tell her about your outburst right now. You'd do that tomorrow.  
"It kinda is..."  
"No. Fuck her. You were scared. Not everyone can fight back. There doesn't have to be kicking and screaming for it to be ra-"

You stopped yourself, before you finished the comparison, but found tears rolling down your face, which Lapis felt on her stomach. She pulled you up and wrapped both of her arms around you fully, and touching your hair. She was smiling actually...  
"Fuck...Pearl?" She said with a small chuckle, still touching your hair. You didn't really respond and just hugged her back instead, as she held you. "It's...ok, heh..." she said as she patted your back.  
"I'm so scared for you Lappy..." you choked out. She seemed to hold back a sob, and kissed your neck.  
"I know...I promise i'll quit ok?"  
You look at her with so much surprise she laughs softly once more. She puts a hand on the side of your face.  
"I'll need your help though..."  
"Of course! I'll be here every step of the way!" You were so excited and happy, even though quitting the world's most addictive drug is easier said than done. Lapis kisses you on the lips.  
"I love you ____"  
"I love you too. Always."


End file.
